Did you know that it wasn’t until 1974 in the United States that women legally had equal rights when it came to all credit practices? That means purchasing a home, obtaining a credit card, buying a car – anything that involved a loan or any sort prior to 1974 required a woman’s father or husband to co-sign.
So often in our 21st century world, young women are unaware of how recent in our history women were seen as second class citizens and not afforded the simple rights of being able to financially take care of themselves and live a life on their own.
While I genuinely believe all people want to be successful (and each of us has our own definition of success), I believe that sometimes we get in our own way (myself included). While we may want this achievement of success, often times we sabotage ourselves without even knowing it or begin heading in the exact opposite direction that will produce the results we covet.
With that said, the ability to be successful, no matter what one’s sex, is in our hands. Success is determined by each decision we make on a daily basis – to work harder or just get by, to save a little each month or frivolously spend it on entertainment and shopping, to open our mouth in anger or bite our tongue and walk away until our emotions are in tact. All of these are our choices to make and each one of them can build us up or tear us down.
In this three part series, I will be sharing tips and ideas on how to attract and create even more success in your life – both professionally and personally. Over the next three weeks (beginning today) be sure to stop by, peruse through my list and then add any approaches that have worked best for you. I’d love to hear, and I know my other readers would as well. After all, the key to success is to teach others when you have learned a lesson that they can benefit from. Let’s get started!
Stand On Your Own Two Feet
Whether in a relationship or not, whether there is a sound relationship with parents/family or not, the key to success, the key to genuine self-confidence, is knowing we can take care of ourselves. We will make so many more decisions in our best interest if we know we are able to land on our own two feet no matter what the situation. By taking the reins, choosing to dig in and educate ourselves in a field we desire, we are taking back control, eliminating co-dependent relationships and building a foundation to build a life of our dreams upon.
Have a Sense of Humor
If you’ve ever read the classic teenage angst novel by John Knowles A Separate Peace, you might remember how the main character Gene is terribly hard on himself, so much so that he follows in the footsteps of Don Quixote and tilts at windmills. Needless to say, he didn’t have the self-confidence to laugh at himself because he was his own worst critic. We all must be willing to chuckle, to laugh at ourselves, but never allow others to laugh at us to bring us down or in a sarcastic manner (that’s a whole other situation to avoid). The key is to recognize when the laughter is in good healthy fun. When we are able to discern the difference and strengthen ourselves with a dose of laughter and a joke every once in awhile, we will bring a balance into our lives that will allow for better relationships at work, home and everywhere in between.
Don’t React in Anger
The moment we react in anger, we have taken our power away, and the key is to recognize that we were the ones who had it to begin with. Letting our emotions run our behavior and words without applying any sound reasoning is not an approach that typically yields the wanted results. Think about it. When someone is yelling, does it make what they are saying any more important? No, it simply makes them a pain, revealing to everyone else that they are a loose cannon, unable to think clearing in trying and difficult situations – not someone anyone would want to surround themselves with in troubled times. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be passionate or have an opinion – a very strong opinion in fact; however, in order to have a chance to drive any situation to the desired result, we must respond (after taking a deep breath) with a calm and steady manner. Keeping a clear head when making tough decisions is the first step toward a successful outcome, however long the journey might be to the goal.
Be A Little Deaf
Due to fact that we are all human, and sometimes emotions do get the better of us, it is a forgiving and successful approach to not take everything personally if it is said in anger or in the heat of the moment. If we harbor resentment and refuse to forgive every statement, every word from those we love or work with that hurt our feelings, we would only be hurting ourselves – weighing ourselves down so that we wouldn’t be able to move forward and grow. Sometimes, we all need to pretend not to hear certain things and give the person a chance to either recant or realize what they have said was not the best decision. Now if they choose to repeat the hurtful behavior, run, and run quickly. It will be a tricky tight rope to walk – what to take to heart and what to dismiss - but with practice, a balance that works for each one of us will be found.
Time and time again, I am reminded that nothing ever worth having ever came easy (and if it did, question like crazy its validity!). Success is something that comes with very hard work, more hours than we at first could have ever imagined as a new dream began to be pursued, but if we are willing to put our noses to the grindstone and work harder than the next guy, success will be ours.
Click here to continue to Part Two of this three part series.