How to Take Command of Your Life

“In any and every moment of your life, you are either in command of yourself or you are being commanded.”

As social beings, it’s natural to feel, and often want, to flock toward other people, desiring to be accepted by them. However, every individual has different desires in life, different goals and aspirations, different hopes and different circumstances which make them feel comfortable. With that being said, if any of these aforementioned descriptors differs from those who you are trying to gain favor from, it is very difficult to achieve what you want out of life.

The simple approach is to follow the herd, to flock together and not deviate from what is expected or stand out.  In fact, in many instances if one chooses to be true to themselves and it goes against the grain of what is typically understood, hackles go up and feathers become ruffled, potentially ostracizing the black sheep from the group.

Now to simply ruffles feathers to cause a flurry and nothing else is unnecessary, but if going along is pulling you away from your dreams, your ideal life and reaching your full potential, ruffle away.

It will take great strength to choose to get out of your own way, choose to stop following and instead blaze your own trail. In fact, the longer you wait to stand up and stand out, the more strength it will require. Which means the easiest thing you can do is be your own advocate from the beginning, become comfortable with being a sincere, genuine person even if it sometimes calls for you to tactfully say what others don’t want to hear or calling them out on rude behavior, and gracefully letting those around you see who you really are.  Those who balk from your behavior are not people you would want in your life to begin with, and those who gradually realize you are only being true to your own calling and are not out to shine at the expense of others will appreciate your candor.

“You are too smart to be the only thing standing in your own way.”  –Jennifer J. Freeman

If you are someone who has already found the strength to be authentic despite what others are doing around you, pat yourself on the back.  This is not an easy feat, but if you are someone who is considering changing your ways to better suit who the real “you” is, here are a few simple ways to alter your behavior so that you are not following in line and thus sabotaging the potential greatness and success that awaits if only you had the strength to follow your goals.

1. Consistently be your BEST self and stop trying to impress people.

2. Be genuine in your likes, dislikes, feelings, compliments, etc.

3. Stop looking for approval and instead approve of yourself

4. Stop gossiping. Just stop. It’s a waste of time and it degrades your character in other people’s eyes.

5. Don’t share everything, even if someone asks.

6. Stop defending your actions. Everyone has a different opinion on what is proper, you are entitled to your opinion. If you made a mistake, learn from it, move on and don’t make the same mistake twice.

7. Take responsibility for your decisions and stop blaming others. Period.

8. Eliminate bullying self-thoughts. Your thoughts, if repeated enough, will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

9. “You cannot find light by analyzing the darkness.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer – listen to this.

10. “. . . treating yourself as you already are what you’d like to become.” – Dr. Wayne Dryer.

Images: (1) Sart(re)orial (2) dknyprgirl: (3) audreyhepburncomplex

The Weekend . . .

The wonderful feeling of knowing that the majority of my gifts are purchased and ready to be wrapped makes the holiday season a little less frazzling and all the more pleasurable. My hope this weekend is to be sitting by the fire at my home, similar to the image Inslee depicts above (the artist behind my logo and the creator behind the holiday cards I just purchased!) with my dogs to keep me company, hot tea (or wine) to sip and savor, and reading and writing material galore to get lost in.

How about you? What will you be up to this weekend?  Sometimes we forget that we need to slow down and recharge even when it seems we have no time during this busy time of year.  However, in order to feel and look our best during all of the occasions we so look forward to this season, we must slow down and catch our breath.  Even if it’s just for an hour, take a time-out and enjoy some “me time”.

This past week on The Simply Luxurious Life some beautiful pre-fall fashions appeared yet again from a designer who can’t seem to make a wrong turn, as well as the wrapping up of the three part series on saving time and so much more.  Have a look:

*Why Not . . . Save Time? Part Trois

*The Perk of Thoughtfulness and Generosity

*Zac Posen – Pre-Fall 2012

*The Country Cooking of Italy – Book Review

*Winter Style Inspiration

*The iconic (oldest model for Vogue and owning every inch of it) Meryl Streep – Vogue US – January 2012

Have an amazing weekend and be sure to design some time for yourself, no matter what it entails.  Until Monday, bonjour.

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Images: (1) Southern Sophisticate (2) Inslee

Style Inspiration

Looking chic during the winter season whether during the day or evening is a pleasure because so many options are available – long sleeve silk blouses, sequins, rich, luxurious sweaters and oh, so much more. Today I’ve gathered together a bevy of ways to mix up your winter wardrobe.

Images: (1) what-do-i-wear: (2)  the Fashion Spot - Gilles Bensimon – Photographer (3) fashionologie (4) Musings in Femininity (5) Fashionologie (6) missmossblog (7) Musings in Femininity (8) fashionologie (9) vogueweekend (10) fortheloveofpretty.net (11) un-autre-monde (12) polaroidsoftheheart (13) Vogue and Coffee (14) noeliagomez (15) Musings in Femininity (16) Sart(re)orial (17) Sart(re)orial (18) Sart(re)orial (19) Sart(re)orial  (20) everythingfab (21) bohemea – Carey Mulligan W Magazine January 2012 (22) Style Essentials

Why Not . . . Save Time? Part Trois

Time is invaluable and unfortunately, it becomes easy to forget how fleeting it can be as we pile more and more onto our plates.  It is important to always be conscious of the fact that we are mortal and our time will eventually come to an end.  When we look at life that way, while yes, somewhat morbid, it is a wondrously simple wake up call.

This series began with ideas on how to save time as we beautify ourselves for each day and continued last week with tips on how to find extra time during your work day. Today, I’d like to finish the series with ideas that can be incorporated into any aspect of your life and will hopefully create a life that is organized, thus simplified, revealing more extra time to enjoy than you realized was possible.

Plan a Weekly Menu

The planner in me loves this one.  Typically my Sunday shopping list is the same from week to week, aside from a special dinner or two that may occur.  I make sure to include my regular breakfast items (I eat the same thing each work morning), pantry items that I’m out of that I will need to make the meals I’d like to make and any fresh vegetables or fruit that are seasonal (when possible). By knowing that I will be fueled and ready to go, I am taking one more thing off of my list to keep track of.

Create Systems

Create systems for regular routines and tasks that need to be completed and completed well, but can be tightened up a bit.  For example, laundry – designate a day that will be laundry day, be clear about how clothes will be organized, which ones will not be dried in the dryer and which ones will need to be ironed.  This will save time, questioning and lack of clothes in the closet when the new week begins.

Ask for Help

Asking for help has never been something I’ve been comfortable with, but when we know someone else can do a far better job that we can or has time (unlike ourselves) and has offered to help, by all means ask for help. 

Let Go

The house doesn’t have to look perfect each day, the dog doesn’t have to be beautifully groomed each day and you can put your hair up in a top knot instead of washing your hair for a day.  Let go. Let go of trying to be perfect just a bit to allow yourself to catch your breath. And be sure to take Anna Quindlen’s advice (click here to read her thoughts on perfectionism), who confidently states that by letting go, we gain so much more.

Develop Skills

There are certain abilities and talents that either we don’t want to learn or are unable to acquire. But there are some skills that by teaching ourselves to do can save us time. Such as learning how to troubleshoot a computer, paint with precision, give yourself a manicure and pedicure and properly care for your clothes, just to name a few.  Instead of waiting for someone to take care of these tasks or working around their schedule, as well as pay them a pretty penny from your paycheck, you are taking back some control and potentially saving time and your sanity.

Make a List

Just as you would make a grocery list, have a planner and keep a to-do list for each day.  At the beginning of the day, consult it to determine what you and when you will be accomplishing each task. By putting what you want to do on a list, you free your mind to keep track of other tasks – such as emotions that can’t be described or encourage new creative ideas to form.

Have a Place for Everything

The keys, the coats, your shoes, unwashed dishes (the dishwasher, not the table). Eliminate the time wasted looking for your cell phone and get into the habit of leaving it either in your purse or in a particular place in the house. This will quell unnecessary frustrations and leave your mind much more sound.

The over-arching message is that life is what we make it.  We can choose to become so bombarded by tasks, clutter and responsibilities that free time, time to immerse ourselves in what we enjoy, only occurs in dreams, or we can simplify, organize and be clear about exactly what is important.  It is all up to us.  Choose the path that will bring you the most fulfillment and you will never regret letting go of those events, people and tasks that were placed at the bottom of your priority list.

 

Images: (1) Vogue and Coffee (2) Southern Sophisticate (3) Source (4) Style Essentials (5) Style Essentials

The Country Cooking of Italy – Book Review

Perhaps you are looking for the perfect gift for the foodie in your family, or maybe you are looking for a way to freshen up your Italian repertoire in the kitchen.  Either way Colman Andrews’ cookbook The Country Cooking of Italy is the ideal choice as it is full of unique Italian dishes that bring the farm to the table to be savored, appreciated and enjoyed.

As the co-founder of Saveur magazine, Andrews is the author of numerous cookbooks, and with The Country Cooking of Ireland he has earned the International Cookbook and Cookbook of the Year awards from the James Beard Foundation.

Filled with nearly 250 recipes, Colman draws upon over 40 years of traveling and eating in Italy as well as cooking and enjoying Italian food back home to fill all 392 pages, along with rustic photographs by Hirscheimer and Hamilton that simplistically, yet beautifully display meals that will have you running to your pantry, to the store or your kitchen if you have the necessary ingredients.

The recipes, like most Italian recipes, are simple and Colman adheres to listing ingredients that can be found in America (and when in the few instances this is not the case, he shares suggestions on substitutions).

From bruschetta and crostinis, directions on how to make your very own fresh pasta, a handful of risotto recipes, espresso and desserts, as well as basic Italian recipes for tomato sauce and pesto, The Country Cooking of Italy cookbook is a resource for any cook who adores their Italian meals.  Not only will these meals have much more flavor, but you will serve each dish knowing that these recipes came from one of the many regions of Italy (Colman scoured every region, from Piedmont to Puglia in search of authentic country Italian recipes).

The Country Cooking of Italy
Author: Colman Andrew
Price: $29.52
Pages: 392
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Copyright: November 9, 2011

The Perk of Thoughtfulness and Generosity

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

–Buddha

In a recent New York Times T Magazine article by Tara Parker-Pope, the concept of generosity being one of the most important components of a blissful union was the focus.  Along with communication, commitment and sexual intimacy, the regular practice of generosity (defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly”) proved to be a determining factor in the level of happiness that a couple possessed with regards to their union with one another.

For example, taking the time to complete a task without being asked and that isn’t expected simply because it eases the responsibilities of your partner or leaving simple notes to express your feelings that sometimes go unsaid during a busy day. Each of these examples and many others of generosity and thoughtfulness help create a very adhesive glue that reveals to the other that you genuinely have them on your mind and want them to be happy, at ease and know that they are loved.

“Generosity consists not the sum given, but the manner in which it is bestowed”

So often, people assume that being thoughtful means expensive gifts, tickets or lavish evenings out, when in reality, such a meaningful gesture doesn’t have to cost much, if anything. Simple creative cards, a favorite sweet treat or post-it left on their keys sharing something as simple as “Looking forward to seeing you tonight . . .”.

The act of always keeping your loved one at the top of your priority list and exercising that muscle of thinking of their contentment as much as your own isn’t necessarily always easy with everything our minds have to keep track of, but it is this basic task that pays dividends when it comes to the success of your relationship.

And even if you are not in a relationship, generous gestures are always appreciated by friends, family members, and co-workers as you will be strengthening the bond you already share. So don’t be shy – pay it forward and treat those around you the way you would appreciate them treating you. After all, the simple truth is kindness begets more kindness and vice versa. So while it is the season of giving, try as best you can to include the practice of simple thoughtful gestures as part of your life the entire year round.

Images: (1) source (2) Source

Zac Posen – Pre-Fall 2012

Nipped waists and flared skirts.  "American Royalty takes a trip east — this collection was inspired by 50s American couture, Charles James, and Cristobal Balenciaga," stated Zac Posen in his Pre-Fall 2012 couture-esque collection. With nearly ten years under his belt, Posen continues has been draping a woman’s physique recently in stunning silhouette flattering designs and this collection is not an exception.

With model Hilary Rhoda posing in each design, enjoy perusing through the simply luxurious pieces.

All images via Fashionologie