For a moment, make a mental note of all the people you enjoy being around, the people you desire to spend time with and the people you look up to. Now, what do all of these people have in common? While there will be many different, unique reasons for each person, more than likely one of the common threads is that there is something exciting, something certain and at the same time something welcoming about the energy each of the people you are thinking about exude.
While there are many ways for these three components to be projected out into the world, they all can be explained as elements of a charismatic person. Defined as exercising a compelling charm that inspires devotion in others, being charismatic may come more naturally to some, but it is possible for all of us to include more of it in our lives, thereby improving our social skills and opening doors to new possibilities.
Many leaders have charisma, more often than not well-liked celebrities possess loads of charisma and effective teachers, doctors (bedside manner) and nurses as well must have at least some charisma to be successful while working with an a array of different people.
Some may argue that being charming can become insincere, but here is where I believe the difference is. There is being charismatic and there is being ingratiating. The former being an act of sincere interest and involvement and the latter being insincere due to selfish wishes one is ultimately hoping with occur.
So, how can anyone become more charismatic? Here are 10 simple ways that will be sure to garner more conversation, interest and an magnetic attraction that draws others towards you.
1. Be Warm, Yet Strong
Smile sincerely. Be confident, but not arrogant. Don’t tilt your chin up which causes you to literally be looking down your nose, but instead, tilt your head slightly down as to be able to look at someone at their level with more sympathy and understanding.
2. Stand Up Straight
Perception is everything, and if you look confident, people will perceive you as confident, until you give them a reason to think otherwise. So, follow my father’s advice and own your height, whether it’s 5’11” or 4’9” – stand up straight and walk surely in your shoes.
3. Be Willing to Listen without Judgment
Keep an open mind. People will want to talk to someone who is actually hearing what they are saying, not just nodding their head and immediately making a judgment. To know you have been heard, even if a solution isn’t readily available, is an opportunity to connect and bond with someone. It always amazes me how little people actually listen, but with so many distractions in our world, to take the time to do so can make just about anyone feel very special and therefore, your actions will not be forgotten.
4. Have an Abundance Mentality
By being grateful and appreciative for the life you are already living, you attract more beauty into it. In other words, go out into the world with the attitude of feeling blessed instead of with your hand out thinking you are lacking. Such an approach will help you lighten up and not be so uptight. When you believe you are living a good life, you can relax, have a sense of humor and just live in the moment thereby being more attractive and inviting to others.
5. Exude Vivaciousness
Charismatic people exude an energy for life that is intoxicating to those around them, motivating them to give a new idea or exercise a try. By displaying sincere, positive energy, the creativity and excitement is captivating to those who watch and listen to you.
6. Don’t be a Pushover
It’s one thing to be open to meeting new people and listening to all that they want to share, but always know where you stand and what you stand for. Being willing to have an opinion, while being open to others’ ideas, will require that you know why you believe what you believe so that you can also entertain a conversation or healthy banter. Don’t become a “yes girl/boy”. You will gain respect by being someone who leads without pushing, but you never want to be someone who is flailing in the wind. In other words, be assertive.
7. Be in the Moment
Be fully present. Look someone in the eye when they are talking and let them know that where you are is where you want to be – talking to them.
8. Be Curious
Diane Sawyer pointed out that one of the best pieces of advice she ever received from her father was “Remain curious.” In other words, be the person who is asking the questions. Choose to get to know those around you and your curiousness will attract them to you even more because of the interest you have shared in them. People in general are so wrapped up in their own worlds that to show curiosity about someone else simply just because is quite flattering.
9. Speak with Intention & Determination
As a person with charisma, it is a bit easier to appear as such, but the next key step is to follow through when you open your mouth. Always know what you are going to say and keep it succinct. In other words, always think quickly and speak slowly, and then speak in a tone that is not questioning or doubtful, but instead resolute, confident and determined.
10. Fall in Love with Life & All Its Possibilities
When someone is excited about life and its possibilities, it’s easy to be drawn to them, just as on the flip side, someone who is cynical about life is a repellant. Choose to be someone who sees the possibility in life and mean it. Live it. Go out and design your life, put forth the effort, so that when someone is asking questions about you, you have something worthwhile to talk about.
It will take conscious effort, but by choosing to be more charismatic, you will be certain to improve your social world, as well as conversation in any situation.