The Difference Between Kindness & Pity

Sep 20, 2017

“The difference between pity and compassion: Pity just feels sorry. Compassion does something about it.”

If you’ve ever felt the hug from someone who seems to feel the pain you are going through nearly as deeply as you, you know what kindness feels like. Conversely, if you’ve ever received a helping hand from someone who would only give it to you when you were down but never when you were standing strong, you know what pity feels like.

Kindness is warm, ongoing and felt long after the person’s physical presence has left the room. Pity is false and fleeting, leaving you in the aftermath wanting to shiver to shake off the insincerity and hollow comfort you received with trust.

Examples of kindness appear whether someone has fallen or is soaring to their most desired dreams. Those who are givers of kindness applaud your successes, celebrate when you are giddy with incredulity of what you have achieved. As well, they are there when you stumble, when you seek warmth and a safe place to shed your tears.

Those who offer pity are stuck within themselves, unable to stop comparing, unable to love their truest selves and set themselves free, unable to recognize that when others rise, so too can they with the tide. Instead, they are fearful, errantly thinking that they will be swept under and dismissed.

If you are able to offer kindness, in little ways and large (which includes giving kindness to yourself), your health benefits, your heart benefits, your relationships benefit, your everyday experience benefits. You are a human being that betters the world for all other human beings. And if we all can practice being kind and come to feel its warm sanctuary, the world gradually becomes a far more loving, safe and far less fearful place to live, shine and enjoy.

The difference between Pity and Kindness . . . 

Pity looks down in acknowledgement and obligation. Kindness looks down and pulls the wounded up.

Pity is relieved that someone is hurting the same if not more than they. Kindness assesses no comparison and reaches out to help.

Pity places value and limitations. Kindness gives what they are able regardless of the height those they help they will rise to meet.

Pity is selfish. Kindness is selfless.

Pity mistakenly believes helping would hinder their journey’s progress. Kindness, having set boundaries knowing what they can give, gives what they are able without worrying about their journey knowing it will continue as it should.

Pity reveals insecurity of oneself. Kindness reveals ease with oneself.

Pity remembers. Kindness looks forward.

Pity is expressed out of obligation. Kindness seeks no recognition.

Pity chooses their actions based on the recipient’s character. Kindness chooses their actions based on their own character.

Pity wishes to keep the hierarchy in tact: I must remain stronger than you. Kindness wishes to support as high as the supported wishes to soar, even if optically, the giver of kindness is surpassed.

May today’s thought to ponder fuel your journey to reach the great heights you are capable of reaching. Have a lovely Wednesday.

~View more Lifestyle posts from TSLL’s Archives here.

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2 thoughts on “The Difference Between Kindness & Pity

  1. THANK you! Worth remembering…We all have friends in somewhat diverse circumstances! Our own character is central as to how we respond!

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